Tulipa ‘Claudia’

 

The division of opinion on the question of whether or not to lift tulip bulbs after the foliage has faded has been well rehearsed elsewhere, and I have no particular wisdom to offer on the subject.

I did decide to lift these bulbs of Tulipa ‘Claudia’ last spring, but this was largely because their accommodation–a pair of terracotta pots given the pleasing appearance of antiquity by the application of natural yoghurt and cunning–was required by some up and coming hostas.

The exercise proved interesting. When I lifted the bulbs, I was a little disquieted to see that most were affected by a dusty blue mould, and it was thus more in hope than expectation that I brushed them off and stored them, under a layer of foil, in the modules pictured above.

It was heartening, then, to see that almost every bulb had begun sprouting when I uncovered them for their return to the pots.

Nothing will be taken for granted, of course, until they begin to show in February or March, since there is still the small matter of the long, wet and dismal Wicklow winter with which they must contend.

Hedge Fun

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Our usual spot for blackberry picking wasn’t exactly heaving with mellow fruitfulness this year, but we managed to harvest enough for a couple of jars of jam before S. was distracted by a gate with a sign reading DANGER BULL IN FIELD. The danger bull, much to our disappointment, was nowhere to be seen.

Pizza

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It took me about three years to make a decent pizza. My earliest efforts contained far too much dough and were much too thick. My problems were compounded by attempting to bake the pizzas on the serving dish pictured above, to which, unsurprisingly, they would unfailingly stick (and which, incidentally, was purloined for me by [...]

Thyme to Die

 

While I realise that dried thyme has its adherents, I take the view that it is better preserved, outside the growing season, in the freezer.

As well as capturing more of the herb’s aromatic qualities, freezing thyme in a box like the one pictured above has the singular advantage of making it very easy to use when needed.

If you leave the thyme on the stem, the individual leaves are very easily shaken loose when frozen. So, when you need a teaspoonful for your mashed potatoes, you just take out your freezer box, perform a quick, maraca-style shake, and said quantity can be scooped from the bottom of the box with serene ease.

Hence today’s annual harvest, which left the plant with enough growth to stage a recovery in the spring, not to mention an endearing resemblance to Ernie from Sesame Street.

Shrewd Food

I am indebted to Shrewd Food for the nobly simple and obvious concept of “fruit bowl jam”.

The idea is that you spare, from their fate on the compost heap, the dubious and imperfect specimens that tend to lurk at the bottom of the fruit bowl towards the end of the week, and use them to make small quantities of what may speculatively be termed “jam”.

I used five or six nectarines d’un certain âge and a fistful of sugar to make an admittedly runny preserve (I’m not sure how much pectin there is in nectarines, relatively speaking), which may not have been ideally suited to toast, but which nonetheless served to enliven my porridge for the rest of the week.

And enlivening one’s porridge is surely, in this day and age, an uncontroversial delight.

A Belligerence of Starlings

The starlings, I have just noticed, have returned. And in numbers too, which I suppose is hardly surprising. Six or seven of them can just now be seen in silhouette on a neighboring gable, picking at something on the tiles.

I hope it’s some kind of nasty moss. I hope they choke on it, the vile creatures.

This habit that starlings have, of descending, suddenly and in numbers, like a biker gang roaring into a quiet seaside village, scaring away all the nice blue tits and chaffinches who were happily coexisting around the feeder, prompts me to wonder whether we have a suitable collective noun for starlings, one that captures their malevolent and obnoxious essence.

We have a murder of crows, of course, and a collective noun that directly evokes a crime seems quite fitting for the peculiar odiousness of corvids.

However, the crime of which starlings can most fairly be accused is the admittedly lesser offence of stealing someone else’s lunch. A larceny of starlings? It’s not bad, but it isn’t quite right.

What is wanted is a collective noun that is charged with some of the presence of starlings, the surly and minatory quality which, along with unappealing spots, they share with schoolyard bullies.

I am going to suggest a belligerence of starlings. Just you see if it doesn’t catch on.

Tomato and Chilli Chutney

 

 

This was a rather straightforward chutney, but it benefited from tomatoes grown by B. and onions grown by E. and M. on their country allotment.

Ingredients

1 kg tomatoes

2 onions

180 g sugar

120 ml white wine vinegar

1 thumb-sized chunk of root ginger

1 tsp chilli flakes

1/2 tsp sweet smoked paprika (I use La Chinata)

Seasoning to taste

Method

1. Add a glug of olive oil to a heavy-bottomed saucepan.

2. Grate the ginger directly into the olive oil. This works better if the ginger is straight from the freezer, which is where ours tends to be stored.

3. Chop the onions roughly, so that they provide some bite and texture in the finished chutney. Sweat these on a low heat until clear.

4. Add the tomatoes and sugar and bring to the boil, stirring constantly.

5. Reduce the heat. Add the vinegar and chilli flakes.

6. Simmer until the mixture has been reduced to a viscous and glossy sauce. You want a chutney that will stay put when you spoon it onto a cracker. This will take an hour or longer. Wait until 10 or 15 minutes from the end to add the paprika as it’s a more delicate spice.

Serving Suggestions

With cheese on any suitable vehicle (bread, crackers, what-have-you). We put it on burgers on the day we made the batch picture above, which was met with general acclaim.